


There's a new sheriff in town

by FAGA



Series: Texting can be a dangerous thing [7]
Category: EXO (Band), GOT7, Mamamoo, Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 14:08:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15245061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FAGA/pseuds/FAGA
Summary: ("2seok fan club 4ever ٩(♡ε♡ )۶" has been changed to “Death is upon us (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)”)Jerkson:...in my defense, i was left unsupervisedJoohoney:There we go…Jerkson:It just slipped out…I.M.(the best):My knife will slipped out next time i see youor2seok fan club is under attackPrompts: In my defense, i was left unsupervised| Are we really going to sit back and watch this happen?| This is why we can’t have nice things!





	There's a new sheriff in town

**Author's Note:**

> Members: Jackson, Chanyeol, Changkyun, Jooheon, Moonbyul.

_("2seok fan club 4ever ٩(♡ε♡ )۶" has been changed to “Death is upon us (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)”)_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Guys! We need to hide. We need to run. Mexico. La Patagonia. A witness protection program. Let’s open up a restaurant in santa fe_

 

**Joohoney:**

_Jackson is quoting Rent again…_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Please, i dont want to see you wearing a red dress and a short wig_

_Once was enough_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_Yeah, red is definitely not your color_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Excuse me?!_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_And you will be a horrible woman_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Wtf?!_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_I have to differ, i will hit that_

 

**Joohoney:**

_Iugh_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Finally someone with good taste_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Wtf_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Moonbyul?!_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Oh! Hi Joonie! What are you doing in this wonderful group?_

 

**Joohoney:**

_...namjoon?_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Jooheon?!_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Fuck_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Changkyun?!_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_RM!!!!! (/◕ヮ◕)/_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Chanyeol_

_..._

_im not even surprised_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_(･ิω･ิ)_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Wtf jackson! Why did you add him?!_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Because guys we’re SCREWED_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Could you stop saying “guys”_

_chanyeol is here too_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Jfc_

 

_RM has left the group_

_A new member has been added to_ _“Death is upon us (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)”_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Jackson let me go!_

 

**Jerkson:**

_You did this!_

 

**_RM:_ **

_You did this to yourself!_

 

**Joohoney:**

_Can someone explain??_

 

**Jerkson:**

_He told Yoongi!_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_...what_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Yoongi knows about this group because HE TOLD HIM_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Oh man_

 

**_RM:_ **

_It was your own fault!_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Was not!_

 

**_RM:_ **

_It was!_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_Are we really going to sit back and watch this happen?_

 

**Joohoney:**

_Are we really gonna pretend that we believe Jackson?_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Hey!_

 

**Joohoney:**

_I would trust Namjoon with my life_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_#InNamjoonWeTrust2018_

 

**Jerkson:**

_This is bullying_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Your face bullied me first  (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿)_

 

**Joohoney:**

_OooooooooOOOOOOooooohhhh!!!_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_( ﾟoﾟ)_

_#ColdWaterForJackson’sBurn2018_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Fuck you guys!_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_What happened?_

 

**Jerkson:**

_...in my defense, i was left unsupervised_

 

**Joohoney:**

_There we go…_

 

**Jerkson:**

_It just slipped out…_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_My knife will slipped out next time i see you_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Boys, calm down_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Namjoonie found out_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Because he told me_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Of course_

 

**Jerkson:**

_And then he told Yoongi_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Because he’s my best friend_

 

**Jerkson:**

_I’M YOUR BESTIE_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Keep telling that to yourself_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Jfc Jackson_

 

**Joohoney:**

_this is why we can’t have nice things!_

 

**Jerkson:**

_And he wants to tell Markie Pooh!_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Ugh, I dont know why he didnt kill you already_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_That nickname is a disgrace, Wang_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Noona_

_why are you here?_

_Its kind of weird_

_you_

_Jin’s bff_

_who bats for the other team_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_And what a team_

_i mean_

_did you see Joy’s outfit today?_

_That’s a touchdooooowwwn!ヽ(^o^)丿_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Okay…_

_It’s weird that you’re here_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Oh I’m just having fun, you know_

_Maybe providing a few pictures like..._

_(image attached)_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_DAMN!_

 

**Joohoney:**

_BLOND JIN IN DA HOUUUUSE!_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_...and enjoying the reactions xD_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Those shoulders can carry me AND my entire family_

 

**Joohoney:**

_AND your ancestors_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_And still there will be space!_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_THAT WAIST!_

 

**_RM:_ **

_May I remind you that THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_Sorry_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Im not sorry, i’m just jealous_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Hows like?_

 

 **_RM:_ ** _  
_ _What?_

 

 **I.M.(the best):** _  
_ _Being jins boyfriend_

 

 **_RM:_ ** _  
_ _Ummm...great?_

 

 **ChanChan! (≧▽≦):** _  
_ _I knew it_

 

 **_RM:_ ** _  
_ _I mean...he is really sweet and attentive_

 

 **I.M.(the best):** _  
__And hot af_

 

**_RM:_ **

_I will ignore you from now on_

 

 **I.M.(the best):** _  
__Oh no_

_How will i live?_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Don’t forget that my bestie could conquer Ramsay’s heart with his cooking and his looks_

_The whole package_   


**I.M.(the best):**

_Yeah, we know_

 

**_RM:_ **

_And how could you possibly know that?_

 

 **ChanChan! (≧▽≦):** _  
_ _We've been at his classes_

 

**Joohoney:**

_Duuuuuude, my frittata never tasted so good_

 

 **I.M.(the best):** _  
_ _Nooo, I missed that class!_

 

 **Joohoney:** _  
_ _Dont worry bro. I have your back. I transcripted the whole receipt_

 

 **I.M.(the best):** _  
_ _Thats why youre my bro, bro_

 

**Joohoney:**

_BFL_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Bros for life_

 

**Joohoney:**

_Its like you can read my mind, bro!_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Brolepathy_

 

**Jerkson:**

_UGH_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_I feel so uncomfortable right now ಠ_ಠ_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Wait_

_Jin gives cooking classes?_

_Since when?_

 

 **I.M.(the best):** _  
_ _Like_

_...two months ago?_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_He didn’t tell you?_

 

**_RM:_ **

_I remember something about his cooking teacher offering him to replace her on one of her night courses_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Ma poor JinTonic_

_At first he thought that he couldnt make it_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Really? He never talked to me about it_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Oh, you were stressed out with classes and projects so he didnt want to worry you_

 

**_RM:_ **

_..._

_god_

_Im such a shitty boyfriend_

 

 **I.M.(the best):** _  
_ _He deserves better_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Changkyun!_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_(ーー;)_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_What?!_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Joonie, listen to noona_

_You’re not a bad boyfie_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Just a terrible person_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_God changkyun_

_could you_

_SHUT_

_UP?!_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_This dude has the perfect boyfriend and instead of idolizing him he just ignores him!_

 

**Joohoney:**

_Bro…_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_He looks AND cooks like an angel!_

 

**Joohoney:**

_And his friend is an actual angel_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Jfc Jooheon, could you not?_

_we’re not talkin about Hoseok right now_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_He’s an interesting subject_

 

**Joohoney:**

_A wonderful subject_

_I mean...i could pass that subject with an A+_

_With honors_

 

**_RM:_ **

_It’s a relief that you two are not here for Jin_

 

**Joohoney:**

_Don’t get me wrong he is beautiful_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_Kudos_

 

**_RM:_ **

_...thank you?_

 

**Joohoney:**

_But Hoseok…_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Here we go_

 

**Joohoney:**

_He’s like from another world I mean...did you see that smile?_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Oh no_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Dude wait_

 

**Joohoney:**

_(17 images attached)_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Jfc_

 

**Jerkson:**

_And now i have to delete every single photo again before Mark finds out_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_The other day i saw him with a dog!_

 

**Joohoney:**

_Omg Chan! Send pictures!_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Nooooo_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Guys…_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_(28 images attached)_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Fuck_

 

**Joohoney:**

_OMG! I DON'T KNOW WHO’S THE PUPPY THERE!_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_IKR?!_

_I already pictured our wedding like a million times_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Yeah, i saw your Pinterest board_

 

**Joohoney:**

_I like the souvenir_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_Thanks!_

 

**Joohoney:**

_But we have to talk about that color palette dude_

 

**Jerkson:**

_CAN WE RETURN TO THE MAIN PROBLEM HERE?!_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Namjoon not appreciating the perfect specimen beside him?_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Fuck you dude_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Min freaking Yoongi knows about this group!_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_...Oh yeah_

_That_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_I vote Jackson for the next sacrifice_

 

**Joohoney:**

_Same_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_Same_

 

_(“Death is upon us (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)” has been changed to “ByeBye Jackson (/◕ヮ◕)/”)_

 

**Jerkson:**

_I hate you so much_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Okay, losers_

_maybe i have a solution without ending Wang’s life_

 

**Jerkson:**

_I love you noona_

 

**Joohoney:**

_But...i already changed the group name (-_-;)_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_I will invite Yoongi to join this group_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_WHAT!_

 

**Jerkson:**

_HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FREAKING MIND!?_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Listen_

 

**Joohoney:**

_YOU WANT US DEAD?!_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Boys_

 

**Jerkson:**

_That’s it_

_tell mark that i love him_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Could you just listen?_

 

**Jerkson:**

_That im sorry i couldnt see our children growing up_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Jackson shut up_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Michael and Jackson Jr_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_LISTEN!_

_We know Yoongi loves Hoseok_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_Same_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_And that he can’t stop talking about him 24/7_

 

**Joohoney:**

_A motherfucking mood_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_So you can bribe him with photos of his boyfriend and dont tell me you dont have enough material cause you’re stalking him everyday_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_...our schedules are very similar_

 

**Joohoney:**

_And we eat at the same places…_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Yeah_

_right_

_and chanyeol goes to the same class cause he likes to dance_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_Zumba is really good for my gluteus!_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_Iugh_

 

**_RM:_ **

_Wait_

_i think that’s a great idea_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_See?_

 

**_RM:_ **

_i mean yoongi has a full external disk with hoseok’s photos_

_...from their first month together_

  


**Jerkson:**

_This is insane_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_We’re already doomed u.u_

 

**Jerkson:**

_…_

 

**Joohoney:**

_...okay. Lets do this_

 

**MoonStar (▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿▀̿ ̿):**

_Yayyy! (≧▽≦)_

 

 _A new member has been added to_ _“ByeBye Jackson (/◕ヮ◕)/”_

 

**Jerkson:**

_…_

 

**I.M.(the best):**

_…_

 

**Joohoney:**

_...umm hi?_

 

 **Agust-D (ie slowly):** _  
_ _Okay, losers_

_Moonbyul explained everything and I will let you live_

 

**Jerkson:**

_Oh god_

_Thank you_

 

**Agust-D (ie slowly):**

_but under one condition_

 

**ChanChan! (≧▽≦):**

_Ó_ò_

 

**Agust-D (ie slowly):**

_I need a copy of every single photo that you have of my hobi_

_ASAP_

_and dont scatimate because i will find out_

 

**RM:**

_He will_

 

**Agust-D (ie slowly):**

_i can smell fear and lies from a mile_

 

**RM:**

_weird but true_

 

**Agust-D (ie slowly):**

_And remember_

 

_(“ByeBye Jackson (/◕ヮ◕)/” has been changed to “I’m watching you ಠ_ಠ”)_

**Author's Note:**

> (Returns from the grave 5 months late with Starbucks wearing sunglasses and an oversized hoody)
> 
> Whats crack-a-lackin?  
> Life is hard, responsabilities suck and Hoseok STILL keeps me insane  
> Yes, insane. Because that man is too gorgeous for this world.
> 
> I'm 7 out


End file.
